Sorrow and Grief

For my second photography assignment I had to go to a place I've never been before.  A new friend and classmate took me to this old cemetery in Hayward last week.  It is a sad little cemetery.  Many of the headstones have been knocked over or broken.  It was sad to think that someone might have done the damage.  I prefer to think happier thoughts and have decided that they must have been shaken out of place by earthquakes.  My friend and I both liked the headstones with the pictures on ceramic disk.  They seemed to be popular in the early 1930's.  I was extra sad when I saw this headstone.  This little girl was just 2 years and 3 days old.  I thought about the parents and how sad it must have been to loose their precious little girl.  I don't know why my emotions were flying so high when looking at the picture of this little girl.  Maybe it had something to do with the recent funeral and burial.  Maybe it had something to do with being in the first trimester of pregnancy.  I never planned to share this picture and I don't really feel like posting anything but I am posting because I must post once a week as part of my homework. 

This is the only picture I could post today.  I am having the worst day of my life.  I should be 9 weeks pregnant but the fetus has died.  I now know a little of what the parents of this little girl must have felt.  A mother's love is like no other.  It is the most amazing thing I have ever experienced.  I am grateful for that experience.  That love is the root of this pain.  My heart aches for the little one I will never hold.  My heart aches for the delay of my dream to be a mom.

Magical Mornings

During my early college years I discovered early mornings by necessity and how wonderful they are.  My love for mornings began during the summer between my second and third years of college.  I was working full time and taking two summer classes.  I struggled to get my homework done after a day of classes and work.  One night I was just too tired to do any homework and decided to go to bed and get up early.  It worked so well I continued to do it for the rest of the summer.  I loved the quiet of the morning.  I started getting up early on weekends too.  I had a few hikes that summer and would watch the sunrise over Lake Tahoe. 

Last Saturday I woke up at 5:30.  I just couldn't sleep.  I got up and paced in my dark hotel room trying to be quiet.  I decided to peek through the curtains after a few minutes to see if I might want to head outside for a few minutes.  I was pleasantly surprised with 6 inches of fresh fallen snow on the deck.  It was still snowing and I couldn't resist going out to it.  I took my camera and captured a few pictures (the picture above isn't one of those pictures - it was still too dark).  After a several wonderful minutes of taking in the scene, feeling the cool air, hearing the snow crunch under my shoes and the feel the snow melt in my hair I went back inside my room and climbed under the covers.  I didn't fall asleep and so I got up again a little after six to see how the sky had changes.  This picture was taken then. 

Beautiful Day!

The funeral was lovely.  Merm looked amazing.  The bag piper, Ron Wallace, was fabulous.  The music started my tears flowing.  The funeral was followed by a lovely lunch that the Relief Society provided.  A Welsh/Scottish dance lesson followed the lunch.  The day was perfect.  I think Merm would have enjoyed it.

I am blessed

I love this woman.  Yes, I love my mother-in-law.  I married well that way.  I love my in-laws.  All of them.  Last night my sweet mother-in-law passed away.  She struggled with dementia the past few years and this last year was a tough one.  I am glad to know that she is no longer suffering.  I am glad she is at peace.  I can't wait to see her again. 

She was awesome.  We laughed together frequently.  My husband and I enjoyed dinner with her most Sundays during our courtship (he was there every week).  I would wink at her and she would wink back and that would start a giggle fit between the two of us.  After that we needed only look at each other to fall back into the laughter, much like young girls.  Sometimes she would make faces behind my husband's back, usually sticking her tongue out but sometimes crossing her eyes.  I always laughed.  I couldn't help it. 

We had some very special moments after Mark and I married and her health was declining.  One night, as I tucked her in bed and gave her a kiss on the forehead she told me that she was glad that Mark found me.  I left the room crying because I was glad for the same thing. 

I can't wait to see her again.  I hope she knows how much I love her.  I am blessed to be part of her family and married to her wonderful son.

On the way to the workshop

It is a simple idea to pull out your camera and grab a few shots on the way to a photography workshop.  It felt natural.  The sky was a gorgeous tone of blue.  The light on the gold leaf of City Hall made it glow.  It was delicious looking.  I stopped for a few minutes and captured a few pictures.  This was one of them.  I just told you about the "delicious" colors and this is photo is black and white.  I did love the colors of the picture but I decided that I prefer this photograph in black and white.  There is something about the drama of black and white that just seems to work with the geometry of the building and this particular angle.  I hope you enjoy this one.  I do.

Photography Workshop

I went to a photography workshop today.  It was my second time going to this workshop.  The first time I was overwhelmed.  I think that is an incredible understatement.  I only had my camera for a month when I went and didn't know anything .  I had dabbled with the automatic settings.  I signed up for this workshop immediately after the last one.  I practiced the exercises in the book and to my surprise I became comfortable with the priority settings and manual mode.  Please take note of the word comfortable in the previous sentence.  It is a relative term.  I no long feel like crying when I move the dial to M and try to figure out what to do.  I went to lunch with a few of my classmates and they asked me all sorts of questions about aperture, shutter speed, ISO and metering.  I could answer them.  I have no delusion about what that meant.  It simply meant I understood what was being presented (I felt like an expert and to my classmates I was seen that way but know that I am not).  It did feel good.  I quickly ate humble pie when I got home and all of my photos downloaded into JPEG format and I know the camera is set for RAW.  Now I need to figure out that new challenge.  Sigh!  I do love leaning.  This is quite the adventure for me. 

The picture above is from the Safari portion of the workshop.  This is a "fun" photo (not something I deem beautiful).

Sunday was awesome

Sunday was a beautiful day.  My husband I went for a drive to the coast on Sunday and found this pretty little beach.  It was lovely.  During the drive we experienced all sorts of weather.  Sun, rain, fog and wind.  We even saw a rainbow on the way home.  It was the perfect way to spend a few hours between church and visiting family.